Wayne Oofster ordered his usual drink at the local bar. The bartender, noticing Wayne’s look of the blues, asked what was the matter.
“I just found out I have been diagnosed with a brain cloud and only have a month to live.”
The bartender was a little shocked to hear the news of one of his best customers. He had never heard of this mystery diagnosis, but by the look on Wayne Oofster’s face, it must not be good. He placed the small Dirty Shirley in front Wayne. “It’s on the house.” Then he walked away to tend to two hot college chicks who just sat down.
Wayne watched as the two girls flirted with the bartender and how the old man was enjoying every minute of it. Wayne tried to drown his sorrows in his fruity cocktail drink and listen to the loud music playing in the background. It was some country western song about some guy wanting his girl to love him like his dog does. Yeah, he definitely picked the right bar to hang out in. Then the miracle occurred. The jukebox switched to a more mellow song. Wayne Oofster recognized the lyrics “Live Like You Were Dying”. That’s it! He had always wanted to see the country yet had never had the time to travel because of his work at the peanut butter factory.
He chugged his drink and told the bartender thanks. He had always wanted to see the world’s largest frying pan and the town dedicated to the Andy Griffith Show in North Carolina. He had so much to see before he kicked the bucket.
When he opened the door to his one room shack, Lola, a black poodle, greeted him at the door with a bark. “Want to go on a road trip, Lola?” She responded with yet another bark.
He packed his bag and jumped into his 1973 VW Bug, and hit the road—dog and all.
He did not make it fifty miles before his little Bug started making cat noises. MEEEOOOOWWWWW. He slowed down a little and the sound went away. When he thought the sound had completely stopped, he sped up again. MEEEOOOOWWWW. This was just what he needed. He was dying and trying to see the world while his VW was deciding to play cat. He was in the middle of nowhere with no one to talk to but Lola. As luck would have it, there was a small little local shop on the side of the road. It wasn’t much, but it had a licensed mechanic and root-beer floats.
“Come on, Lola.” He said to his trusty companion when they pulled in. “Let’s get rid of this annoying sound so we can start our quest.” The dog followed with excitement. Really, she was just happy Wayne Oofster was spending his last few days with her. They had spent every day together since the day he found her outside the peanut butter factory. She had been searching for left over peanuts to eat. He felt so bad for her and was immediately in love, that he took her home where she had an abundance of peanuts to eat.
The place was empty. The only furniture in the waiting room was a small child’s rocking chair. The sign for the root-beer floats was the only thing that was painted and that was brown.
“I will be with you in a second,” yelled a woman in the back.
Wayne stood there, waiting for a few minutes. Finally, the woman walked up behind the counter. She was gorgeous! She had straight teeth and wore a pair of blue jeans with holes in the jeans. She had a tank top on that you could tell was at one point white. It was casual, yet it showed just enough cleavage that Wayne Oofster was interested.
“How kin I help ya’?” She asked.
“My car seems to be making a MEEOOWW noise,” he responded, feeling a little embarrassed.
Lola and Wayne followed her to his car where she popped the hood, which so happens to be in the back of the vehicle. She stood over the car for a few minutes while making reassuring noises. “Hmmmm”. “Oh, yeahhhh”. “Interesting”. “I see”. Then she turned to him and said, “I know exactly what yer prob’em is, sir. You have a small hello kitty bobble head stuck to your thermostat. Every time you reach a certain temperature, it will sound.”
Wayne Oofster was extremely happy to hear that it wasn’t anything too major.
